Cool as a Cucumber
by Serra's Evil Twin
Summary: She was hot. Damn heat, luckily her Guardian Angel Erk was close by. Serk fwuff!


Maria: Hello my good friends. I lay this story at the bottom of your feet and say "SERK FOREVER!"

Erk: She's definitely lost it…

Serra: Yah….

Timmycheese: Maria's always been a bit…touched in the head…

Maria: HEY!

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**Cool as a Cucumber**

Serra shuffled through the sand at the speed of a wounded snail. Everyone else was dying in the heat but our young "priestess" only cared about herself and longed to be on a horse instead of walking.

"Man! It's too freakin hot!" Serra yelled to herself, the words of her previous cleric teacher had no effect on her in the heat.

'Clerics should always maintain an air of dignity and grace and should not let little things like hot and cold bother them' the teacher had said. The teacher had obviously never been to the Nara Desert. Serra sighed and kept dragging her feet through the boiling sand.

"Oi, healer woman! I am in pain!" Bartre yelled a few feet away from her. Serra stopped, and GLARED. 'He's not in pain…YET!' Serra thought viciously. Her eyes narrowed and anyone at least 5 meters away from her would have seen that they have started glowing red.

Oh ho ho, Bartre was indeed very stupid. He was oblivious to the angry cloud around Serra's head and kept whining "healer woman, my head hurts and my feet…"

Serra stomped over to Bartre, while glaring, and stood there, just stood there…

"Eh…healer woman?" Bartre stated dumbly, and stared at the furious pink haired woman who was glaring at him. He was about to complain again when Serra suddenly poke him in the stomach with her staff. VERY hard.

"ONE! My name is not, Healer Woman! It's Serra." She positively screeched at him. Bartre simply stared and rubbed his tummy where she poked him. Serra was in full kill mode by now.

She poked him again, this time jabbing his hand in the process. "Youchies!" Bartre yelped and rubbed his hand thoroughly. Serra didn't care she just wanted to hurt the man at her feet.

"TWO! Next time you want someone to SAVE YOUR LIFE! At least be polite about it!" she screeched at him and bits of spit flew out and smacked Bartre in the face. Serra was about to jab the poor fighter again when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Serra, that's quite enough. If you keep yelling at poor Bartre here, we'll all drown in your pool of spit" came the sarcastic voice of Erk she knew oh-so well. Her face softened and she calmed down but she still just humphed at him, and muttered an inaudible "sorry" to Bartre, but he had run far, far away by now.

So Erk and Serra trudged through fields of sand and occasionally killed enemies who got in their way. Serra always enjoyed the walks with Erk but she never told him because she knew he would just laugh at her.

Serra was feeling really dizzy, but she didn't tell Erk that. 'He would just say I complain too much' Serra thought sadly. Their conversations always started with Serra and ended with Erk. Soon enough she had given up hope of ever communicating with the purple haired prodigy next to her.

Soon Serra was seeing double and swaying slightly, she could vaguely hear Erk yelling her name with concern, she could barely feel his strong (?) arms catch her as she fell. After that all was black.

While she was unconscious, Serra had a dream. A wonderful dream I might add. Erk was lifting her from blackness and was flying away from a hole that threatened to engulf her whole.

"Erky…" she said, her voice, strange even to her own tone strange to her ears "since when did you have wings?" Dream Erk just looked down at the fragile girl in his and smiled. A genuine Erk smile. Not a smirk, not a scowl, but a happy Erk smile that never seemed to play upon his face anymore. Serra gasped, and fought the urge to blush like a tomato.

"I've always been your Guardian Angel, haven't I?" Erk said softly, his voice like cloud. Or what Serra had imagined cloud to sound like.

All too soon, the dream was over and Serra woke suddenly, feeling dizzy and tired.

She also found her self on the back of a familiar red cloaked, purple haired, uptight mage called Erk. She was slightly confused for she expected him to just leave her there in the heat.

"You're awake? Finally…" Erk said grumpily.

'How long have I been out?' Serra thought and put a hand to her forehead while the other hand gripped Erk's shoulder tightly. She blushed but she just shook it off.

"Well? Aren't you going to say something? Your unusual silence is…disturbing" Erk said uneasily. Serra looked at the back of Erk's head with her mouth agape. 'Was he saying he liked hearing me speak' Serra thought, 'he always just shuts me up when I talk but maybe just maybe Erk isn't as cold blooded as I thought'.

Trudging through the Nara Desert on bare foot was already a hard enough task with or without someone on your back. Erk sighed, it wasn't the first time he had helped Serra out of troublesome positions like this. 'But who knew she would get heat stroke and suddenly collapse like that' Erk summarized.

Serra was watching the scenery go by…very slowly. Her mind started to wander towards the dream she had before. 'The dream had some truth in it, even if Erk doesn't have wings' Serra mused as she stared at a tree that was already dead, 'Erk has always been there for me and protecting me, even if he denies it afterwards'.

Soon the camp was in their sight, Serra didn't want to ruin the moment that was occurring by mentioning anything about the current battle and if they should be participating.

As if reading her thoughts Erk turned his head slightly and said "The camp's participants health and safety comes first"

Serra was a bit saddened by his deadpanned voice but decided if this was the most concern Erk could show for her then she would take it. Erk took her into the first tent he could find, Serra was surprised that it was empty and blushed a tiny bit at the prospect of being alone with Erk. The mage in question put her down onto on of the futons and crouched down with her.

Serra stared with amazement. He wasn't leaving like she had expected him to, but instead he gently wiped her head with a wet cloth. Serra smiled and relaxed while Erk looked after her. Soon she was asleep and once again she dreamed of her Guardian Angel named Erk. Later that night Serra woke up to find a sleeping Erk by her side.

"He really does care" Serra whispered and once again fell asleep. Erk, who had heard what Serra said just smiled and put his hand on Serra's shoulder.

THE END

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Maria: YAY so fwuffy. SERK RULES. hugs Erk and Serra

Erk: chokes on fluffiness

Serra: she really is mad

Maria: me and milly (a.k.a timmycheese) wrote this together. Only HAPPY reviews.

Disclaimer: neither me or milly own fire emblem so don't rub it in.

Timmycheese: see if you can pick apart the ones I wrote and the ones Maria wrote XP


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